Nude or Never

Telling a woman how she should dress is one part of a problem, telling a women how to think she should dress is the core of the problem itself. Let me tell you why.

We live in an era where self-expression is parallel to the self, not knowing who are will directly impact how you are. What’s inarguable is that an element of choice should be at the centre everything we do. We live in a era of a fast-paceness and interconnectedness that still overwhelm us; we get signs from everything, sounds from everywhere and influences in every millisecond of our everyday lives. We are so often and so quickly faced with things that thinking for ourselves is no longer a choice. This is a concern, not a comment and for women today, it’s a serious problem.

Women are taught by society to flaunt their femininity  in ways that please everyone before themselves, in no way am I stating that women MUST cover, but I am saying that women are repeatedly taught that strength of character, sexiness and fierceness are only visible through the dress code, in the “less is always more” sense, and THAT is bullshit.

I can’t think of the last time I saw a woman express her femininity through means other than sexual. It’s always the same depiction of courage through the same means and I am personally getting a little tired of it.

If modesty is a choice, then so is nudity, it can’t and shouldn’t be a requirement for progressiveness! I had a conversation with a ‘gentleman’ who tried to convince me that posing nude is actually the  much more expressive and attractive way of posing for pictures, he also added that stripping should be seen as significant since society strongly stands against it. When I said that I wouldn’t do either one, someone asked if I was “Religious” – so to him my choosing to not look a certain way and controlling matters instead of letting matters control me is dictated by religion, never by my society. I disagree. If religion forces someone in a direction, it’s possible to (want to) fight back, but society is the hardest thing to fight, because it’s everything around you; it’s the movies you watch, that ads you see, the people to talk to, the conversations you have, and the thoughts that are generated from all that.

The scariest thing I’ve seen to date is the amount of time women spend in front of mirrors and it’s rarely for themselves. Presentability should be the comfort you feel when you see yourself before the pleasure others feel when seeing you. The fashion, make-up and entertainment industries put a strong emphasis on perfection; “you must look it to feel it” is what echoes through their messages. Perfect hair, perfect make-up, no scars, no split ends, not a pound of over-weightness, and tons of skin- THAT is the new-school definition of sexy. And I liked the old-school system where she was who she wanted to be, how she defined herself, how she felt, where sexy meant confident and not sexualized, THAT she is the one I struggle to stay close to. THAT she is the one society tries to separate me from daily. I am not a product of my surroundings, I am product of my own beliefs, values and feelings.

Society stripped choice from she, divided progressive and modest, split liberal and reasonable, and shamelessly blamed religion on anything and everything that’s not connected to societal beliefs. That, to me, is more dangerous than being told what to wear. I can fight back if I am forced to dress a certain way, but if I’m swayed by a compliment that I am taught is essential to my self-esteem, then there’s nothing to fight back, because I’m taught to “need” compliments, that’s the drug that’s being fed to women and that’s dangerous.

Marwa Siam-Abdou

Here’s a kick in the ego(s); Dedicated to the Education system of Canada

“Let us reform our schools, and we shall find little need of reform in our prisons.” – John Ruskin

I have a big problem with a school system that segregates students based on so-called ‘competence’. The idea of an applied vs. an academic learning method needs to go, as a matter of fact, the university application process along with the standards used to judge a qualifying student need to be reformed.

What I also disagree  with is the societal judgment that stems from that system; this common notion among the majority of people that a college student is “intellectually inferior” to a university student or  that some students can be considered gifted, and hence given privileges over students who work equally as hard, and at times, harder.

My criticism comes from my high school experience, and I went to a school under the CSDCSO, not the Toronto district school board like most students, but I’m pretty sure that all schools within Ontario operate the same way.

In grade 9, a student has to choose the classes that would determine the course of his or her four years of high school and consequently, his or her life. Yes, life! Choosing applied courses meant guaranteeing only admission to colleges and not to universities, which meant, according to societal rules, only graduating and being permitted to work in a selected number of industries, acquiring a specific number of skills, and even being hirable by certain employers. If you don’t believe what I say, check out a job post for an income of $45,000 and up and see what the requirements are (Bachelor’s degree is almost always a must).

Colleges and Universities should be considered the same, and should have the same standards for admission. Most importantly, people should look them at as being the same thing. Practicality and theory need one another, which means that the idea of having one institution teach one and the other institution teach another leaves all graduates lacking something. Society likes to pretend that one is better (one being an elite of some sort), when both are equally important.

The idea of forcing someone to determine their career path at an extremely young age while giving them no chance of changing directions is dictatorial and disrespectful in my opinion. Which thirteen or fourteen-year-old can make such an important decision?  Someone who has zero experience in the work force and in academia altogether needs time before anything, the school system selfishly takes that away. I’m sure that there is some statistical need to have some students in college and some in universities. Oh wait! That’s right! I forgot… they’re all moneymaking businesses, it’ a consumer market not academia, and high schools just help them generate their profits.

My other problem is with this program for gifted students– the idea of selecting a number of students and giving them access to resources that guarantee them a much brighter future is unfair in every way imaginable. I’m not denying that some students excel better than others, but why are we disregarding the fact that people learn differently? Sometimes at different paces and some even require a completely different atmosphere to learn. Everyone deserves a chance and every student should have access to privileges, because the truth is, everyone has capabilities but it takes the right system to help a student discover them and put them into practice. If a student is exceptionally smart, he or she can skip a grade or two, so they can move to a level where they are challenged and motivated. I am not sure about other school boards, but the CSDCSO gave out a test in grade three (GRADE THREE!), where the students with the highest averages were put into a group (all the way until the twelfth grade) and placed in privileged programs, trips and activities and even taken out during regular class hours to partake in all sorts of things. How does a system like that leave the ‘the other kids’ feeling about their own abilities? Inferior! Because to the rest of the students, these were the special kids, with the special rights, and they were just ‘average’.

I stand in complete opposition with a system that shamelessly segregates students based on a poor judgment of their performances. A student’s skill level fluctuates, especially in high school where he or she is still being taught how to learn. A student may become better or worse academically depending on multiple factors, varying from his or her own learning method(s) all the way to the teacher’s ability to teach. High schools should be considered an experimental step, not a life-altering point in the lives of students. The school system narrows down the possibility of having many promising students, by telling them ‘where they belong’, keeping them there and leaving them with no room for change or growth.

The choice of going into college or university should strictly be the students’; high school should not ‘classify’ them and then force them into disciplines that match their ‘learning abilities’, and the gifted student program needs to be extracted from schools and established in its own school, where no one needs to feel better than the other.

The system is unethical and uses a lazy way to split students and set a scale for their strengths and challenges. School needs to be revamped and re-educated on how to educate.

**The story behind this story:

Experience is one of the most valuable lessons, and I often use my experiences to form my judgments.

I went a school where my performance was often ranked much below average. In the mornings, I left a household where I was told that I could do it and arrived to a school that detoured me by telling me that I could ‘NOT’. I wasn’t a good student, I grasped things differently, and I’d say that I learned ‘slower’ than most, because my attention span was extremely short and my listening skills, bad. The constant criticism by the teachers resulted in my insecurity and belief that I was not competent enough, for anything, and I hid that problem very well. The only thing I could do was convincing myself that it was cool to fail. I was always getting grades between D- and F. It took me years (until the age of 22) to come to the realization that I was not inferior to the A+ students, but that I was just different, and I realize now that different NEVER means ‘not good enough’.

School taught me otherwise, I had a guidance counselor who, ironically enough, told me that  ‘I should have failed’ instead of miraculously getting 50s, of how I should not apply to university because my grades can barely get me into college and of how lucky I was to even be passing.

It’s those schools that (in)directly tell youth that they “can’t do”  that often produce adults that “don’t do”. Almost all societal problems can be traced back to a school system  that operated based on a primitive and backward belief, one that classified  students as “bad, “good”, “better” and “worse”. All students of all learning abilities and all challenges (because we all have them) need to have access to the same resources, because like they say, ‘education is a right’…right!